The Year of Your Feminine

A villain in search of her stolen feminine…

I’ve been belly dancing for two months now. It was an effort to get back in touch with my feminine side after dealing with men who just drained me. Something about dealing with men who are unsure about you, passive about you, and at times insult your ego kinda put a damper on what little amount of femininity you have left.

I did belly dancing when I was younger. I did honestly for the same reason. I didn’t feel in touch with my feminine side. I also was in a relationship that didn’t make me feel safe so that made probably didn’t help. When I tried it then I felt somewhat powerful and feminine. Like something in my body and being could command the attention of people who would maybe ignore me. Of course life got in the way and my teacher fell off the radar for a bit but I still always remembered how it made me feel.

In effort to be more social I decided to try it again. Well, the social part was a big aspect of it but I also wanted to feel what I felt before. Being in fight or flight makes you masculine. For several years I was aggressive. There was no man to rely on post divorce. No one made me feel safe. I had to stay on the defensive. This wasn’t even about the physical part. Emotionally I didn’t feel safe either. Something wounded came out of me the last time I felt hurt. It was like I spiraled and everything I tried to ignore came up. I became aggressive and angry again and surprisingly I’m not normally. Yes I will fight if needed and I have the sharpest tongue if you piss me off but usually I’m actually kind and really sweet. So in an effort to feel that inner feminine energy again I started dancing again.

When I dance I forget about everything. I feel like a powerful goddess (even if not super good at this). My body moves in the most commanding and alluring ways. I can draw your attention. My posture is tall, I admire the curves and muscles of my body, and I look strong. I also dance with women who encourage one another and motivate each other. It’s what I need when my inner monologue would probably make a normal person cry. I think honestly picking this up has been a blessing for me when oftentimes I feel like something is wrong with me.

Part of your villain era should focus on finding something that makes you feel good about you just as you are. Too often we compare ourselves to others or we criticize ourselves for what we are lacking. I think it’s important to honor you just were you are and celebrate yourself even if no one else will.

Whether you dance, stretch, run, lift, swim, etc., find your happiness.